Terry Savage

Terry Savage

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Your Mother Should Know...

Try to imagine that you're stuck in a room that has caught on fire. You can't find a way out and each second you're one step closer to death. After failed attempts to escape your doom, a hand grabs you and you are pulled to safety.

What words could you put together to adequately express how thankful you are to be rescued? Even if you found the words, which your hero understand? Now, imagine that hero saving you every day of your life. What would you say then? Would it matter?

Some people think Mother's Day is a cheap excuse for women to get gifts, flowers, or jewelry. Perhaps that's what it has become, but hardly what was intended. Mother's Day is an opportunity to attempt thanking your mother for years of devotion, loyalty, advice, and love. Unfortunately, similar to the scenario mentioned earlier, it's very complicated to adequately express how you feel. Sadly, the cliche bouquet of flowers or box of candy is a sad excuse of a gift.

My mother and I have a very dynamic relationship. While we fall into the appropriate social roles, we are able to communicate better than a mother to son relationship. In my opinion, our closeness is due to the respect I have for my mother. A woman so bold, so driven, and strong I sometimes forget that she's my mother and see her as a soldier. She has the whole world in her hands and on her shoulders but doesn't stray from the path. Working so hard without recognition and never complaining.

Don't get me wrong, the lady has some flaws, but then the finest diamonds have imperfections. One day I might give her crap because she can't work the remote control, the next day, she will explain Alan Greenspan's theory of economics as if it were her own. For heaven's sake, the woman is 5 feet tall but can be one of the most intimidating adversaries.

Since my accident, she put everything aside to focus on me. Her entire life was mangled but she just kept pushing. I feel guilt and regret that because of me, my mother has had to compromise. However, it gave me a new perspective about a mother's love. Such devotion, that their life must be put on hold for the sake of her child. In essence, my own personal Jesus. The wise elder I seek for advice, but one who I ask for forgiveness, and sadly, the one who pays for my sins.

This Mother's Day, no amount of flowers or boxes of candy will suffice. Words fall short and gestures are only pantomimes of feelings too big to explain. I am lucky that such a hip, down to earth lady is my mom. One day, I'll find the right words to say but for now I'll borrow someone else's.

"My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being.  I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune."  ~ Graycie Harmon

Wheel Connections

 I got a letter yesterday and it said that I was categorically the worst blogger EVER. Apparently,  you're supposed to update blogs frequently...oops. Anyway, for those who were enthralled by previous entries, nothing too spectacular has happened. Except for one project.

I decided to create a group called Wheel Connections, a peer support group. However, this group would be unique because, instead of being a virtual group or lecturers, it will have spinal cord injured patients meeting others with the same injuries. It would give a chance for us to socialize and learn from each other. Also, I plan for the group to focus on being active by finding different accessible activities for us to do as a group.

Starting this group was a rash decision. It literally came out of nowhere, however, there seems to be a good amount of interest within the spinal cord injured population. The group has already been posted on the National Spinal Cord Injury Association (NSCIA) website, the Christopher Reeve's Foundation website, and garnered attention from other spinal cord injury organizations.

Oddly enough, this idea couldn't have come at a better time. The New Jersey Abilities Expo is coming up in April, so that is going to be the first meeting. Hopefully, people come see what we're all about and want to join. I also hope that I can manage this group properly and find plenty of activities and topics that would interest us. So far I've done a pretty good job, of course, we don't have any members yet. It's still counts.

While creating this group, I stumbled over some bumps. For example, there is a lot of politics regarding a group like this, even though it's basically just a bunch of people hanging out with each other. I really have to watch what I say and what I do in order to avoid offending other organizations. Honestly, it feels like kindergarten. However, that's the way the game is played so I have to follow the rules. On top of that nonsense, it's very hard to build an organization from scratch. The group needs a name, a purpose, members, proof that it's legitimate, literature, schedules, a website, and the hundreds of tiny details behind the scenes. Luckily I'm not going anywhere so I have the time to try and create these things out of thin air.

Anyway, as Wheel Connections starts I'll try to share some information on a regular basis. Recently, I've been using March Madness as my excuse for not putting up any entries. The dance is especially tough this year and my bracket is shaping up. We'll see if I win but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Wish me luck.

Wahbulance

 I feel like an ass. I haven't written a blog in way too long, but I do have some respectable reasons. First, I'm incredibly lazy which makes doing anything important quite hard. Second, I had so many ideas in my head to blog about that I couldn't think of one, even though that sounds stupid. Third, I'm working really hard in therapy, so I literally have no energy to blog. Finally, I've been battling pressure wounds that keep popping up all over and it's simply a drag. However, I'm here now... I'm wide awake... and I'm fully prepared to complain.

It's always an interesting time when the holidays come around. Typically they can either be really good or a disaster, there is rarely an in between. My family has never really practiced traditional holiday rituals but we always get together and spend time. Usually, there's just a few gifts and that we all have dinner together and either argue about politics or marvel at the baby. It's tough for me during the holidays because there are things that I can't do that most of my friends are involved. I can't travel and I can go to New York City to see Rockefeller Center. Sometimes it gets on my nerves but for the most part I just don't care.

While hanging out with family is great, and I mean that, it's always nice to have someone with a little bit more in common to talk to. This becomes a problem not only during the holidays but just about all the time. In fact, there are very few people that have much in common with me. Yet, most people think that they know what I am thinking or how I feel, when in reality it's the furthest from the truth.

In my opinion, I don't think that I complain very much, probably because if I did I'd be the most bitter person you've ever met. There are plenty of things I can think of to complain about but there's just no reason, it's a waste of energy and solves nothing. However, the one thing that pisses me off the most is when someone thinks they understand.

If you are one of those people, I guarantee that you don't understand. You don't know what it's like, you don't know how it feels, you can't read my mind, and there will always be that way. Unless you're in the unique position of being in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic, you have no clue. Granted, everyone has problems and they can be equally as draining, but you don't expect people to know how to solve  those problems so how can they solve mine. Therefore, I beg you, don't patronize me and don't pretend that you know how I feel.

I also hate snow! I mean seriously, who the hell came up with that? Who decided that white slippery crap should be dumped from the sky onto us? What an obnoxious, presumptuous, and asinine prank to pull on humans. Every time it snows I bet God watches all the slips and falls to make his own "world's funniest home videos" hosted by Bob Saget. Maybe snow would be cool if it happened during the summer so that it was related to warm weather instead of this cold crap. If you are dreaming of a white Christmas, I'm dreaming of a white August. Until that day comes, I blame snow for everything that goes wrong in the world. I hereby announce that the Snow Hating Association has been formed. We offer medical insurance and issue really cool jackets with your name embroidered on the front.

Finally, my New Year's resolution is to not make a New Year's resolution. It's a stupid idea so I am not going to do it. However, in doing more of a monthly plan, I feel the results are better. I also don't know why everybody's resolution has to be something good. Why can't your New Year's resolution be to hate babies or support gun violence? Regardless, it is a new year and it's a new chance to learn from last year so that we're all not as stupid as we were.

In conclusion, I won't complain you can't make me. Snow can go to hell. New Year's resolutions are stupid. I promise to blog more often so that none of you worry and I promise the blogs will be interesting, at least to me. Happy new year and good luck.

P.S. If you plan on joining the Snow Hating Association, please contact me about meeting locations and jacket sizes.