Terry Savage

Terry Savage

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Your Mother Should Know...

Try to imagine that you're stuck in a room that has caught on fire. You can't find a way out and each second you're one step closer to death. After failed attempts to escape your doom, a hand grabs you and you are pulled to safety.

What words could you put together to adequately express how thankful you are to be rescued? Even if you found the words, which your hero understand? Now, imagine that hero saving you every day of your life. What would you say then? Would it matter?

Some people think Mother's Day is a cheap excuse for women to get gifts, flowers, or jewelry. Perhaps that's what it has become, but hardly what was intended. Mother's Day is an opportunity to attempt thanking your mother for years of devotion, loyalty, advice, and love. Unfortunately, similar to the scenario mentioned earlier, it's very complicated to adequately express how you feel. Sadly, the cliche bouquet of flowers or box of candy is a sad excuse of a gift.

My mother and I have a very dynamic relationship. While we fall into the appropriate social roles, we are able to communicate better than a mother to son relationship. In my opinion, our closeness is due to the respect I have for my mother. A woman so bold, so driven, and strong I sometimes forget that she's my mother and see her as a soldier. She has the whole world in her hands and on her shoulders but doesn't stray from the path. Working so hard without recognition and never complaining.

Don't get me wrong, the lady has some flaws, but then the finest diamonds have imperfections. One day I might give her crap because she can't work the remote control, the next day, she will explain Alan Greenspan's theory of economics as if it were her own. For heaven's sake, the woman is 5 feet tall but can be one of the most intimidating adversaries.

Since my accident, she put everything aside to focus on me. Her entire life was mangled but she just kept pushing. I feel guilt and regret that because of me, my mother has had to compromise. However, it gave me a new perspective about a mother's love. Such devotion, that their life must be put on hold for the sake of her child. In essence, my own personal Jesus. The wise elder I seek for advice, but one who I ask for forgiveness, and sadly, the one who pays for my sins.

This Mother's Day, no amount of flowers or boxes of candy will suffice. Words fall short and gestures are only pantomimes of feelings too big to explain. I am lucky that such a hip, down to earth lady is my mom. One day, I'll find the right words to say but for now I'll borrow someone else's.

"My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being.  I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune."  ~ Graycie Harmon

Wheel Connections

 I got a letter yesterday and it said that I was categorically the worst blogger EVER. Apparently,  you're supposed to update blogs frequently...oops. Anyway, for those who were enthralled by previous entries, nothing too spectacular has happened. Except for one project.

I decided to create a group called Wheel Connections, a peer support group. However, this group would be unique because, instead of being a virtual group or lecturers, it will have spinal cord injured patients meeting others with the same injuries. It would give a chance for us to socialize and learn from each other. Also, I plan for the group to focus on being active by finding different accessible activities for us to do as a group.

Starting this group was a rash decision. It literally came out of nowhere, however, there seems to be a good amount of interest within the spinal cord injured population. The group has already been posted on the National Spinal Cord Injury Association (NSCIA) website, the Christopher Reeve's Foundation website, and garnered attention from other spinal cord injury organizations.

Oddly enough, this idea couldn't have come at a better time. The New Jersey Abilities Expo is coming up in April, so that is going to be the first meeting. Hopefully, people come see what we're all about and want to join. I also hope that I can manage this group properly and find plenty of activities and topics that would interest us. So far I've done a pretty good job, of course, we don't have any members yet. It's still counts.

While creating this group, I stumbled over some bumps. For example, there is a lot of politics regarding a group like this, even though it's basically just a bunch of people hanging out with each other. I really have to watch what I say and what I do in order to avoid offending other organizations. Honestly, it feels like kindergarten. However, that's the way the game is played so I have to follow the rules. On top of that nonsense, it's very hard to build an organization from scratch. The group needs a name, a purpose, members, proof that it's legitimate, literature, schedules, a website, and the hundreds of tiny details behind the scenes. Luckily I'm not going anywhere so I have the time to try and create these things out of thin air.

Anyway, as Wheel Connections starts I'll try to share some information on a regular basis. Recently, I've been using March Madness as my excuse for not putting up any entries. The dance is especially tough this year and my bracket is shaping up. We'll see if I win but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Wish me luck.

Wahbulance

 I feel like an ass. I haven't written a blog in way too long, but I do have some respectable reasons. First, I'm incredibly lazy which makes doing anything important quite hard. Second, I had so many ideas in my head to blog about that I couldn't think of one, even though that sounds stupid. Third, I'm working really hard in therapy, so I literally have no energy to blog. Finally, I've been battling pressure wounds that keep popping up all over and it's simply a drag. However, I'm here now... I'm wide awake... and I'm fully prepared to complain.

It's always an interesting time when the holidays come around. Typically they can either be really good or a disaster, there is rarely an in between. My family has never really practiced traditional holiday rituals but we always get together and spend time. Usually, there's just a few gifts and that we all have dinner together and either argue about politics or marvel at the baby. It's tough for me during the holidays because there are things that I can't do that most of my friends are involved. I can't travel and I can go to New York City to see Rockefeller Center. Sometimes it gets on my nerves but for the most part I just don't care.

While hanging out with family is great, and I mean that, it's always nice to have someone with a little bit more in common to talk to. This becomes a problem not only during the holidays but just about all the time. In fact, there are very few people that have much in common with me. Yet, most people think that they know what I am thinking or how I feel, when in reality it's the furthest from the truth.

In my opinion, I don't think that I complain very much, probably because if I did I'd be the most bitter person you've ever met. There are plenty of things I can think of to complain about but there's just no reason, it's a waste of energy and solves nothing. However, the one thing that pisses me off the most is when someone thinks they understand.

If you are one of those people, I guarantee that you don't understand. You don't know what it's like, you don't know how it feels, you can't read my mind, and there will always be that way. Unless you're in the unique position of being in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic, you have no clue. Granted, everyone has problems and they can be equally as draining, but you don't expect people to know how to solve  those problems so how can they solve mine. Therefore, I beg you, don't patronize me and don't pretend that you know how I feel.

I also hate snow! I mean seriously, who the hell came up with that? Who decided that white slippery crap should be dumped from the sky onto us? What an obnoxious, presumptuous, and asinine prank to pull on humans. Every time it snows I bet God watches all the slips and falls to make his own "world's funniest home videos" hosted by Bob Saget. Maybe snow would be cool if it happened during the summer so that it was related to warm weather instead of this cold crap. If you are dreaming of a white Christmas, I'm dreaming of a white August. Until that day comes, I blame snow for everything that goes wrong in the world. I hereby announce that the Snow Hating Association has been formed. We offer medical insurance and issue really cool jackets with your name embroidered on the front.

Finally, my New Year's resolution is to not make a New Year's resolution. It's a stupid idea so I am not going to do it. However, in doing more of a monthly plan, I feel the results are better. I also don't know why everybody's resolution has to be something good. Why can't your New Year's resolution be to hate babies or support gun violence? Regardless, it is a new year and it's a new chance to learn from last year so that we're all not as stupid as we were.

In conclusion, I won't complain you can't make me. Snow can go to hell. New Year's resolutions are stupid. I promise to blog more often so that none of you worry and I promise the blogs will be interesting, at least to me. Happy new year and good luck.

P.S. If you plan on joining the Snow Hating Association, please contact me about meeting locations and jacket sizes.

Are you smarter than a politician?

 For some strange reason, I've been following politics. I am absolutely positive I do not want to be a politician, however, it's mind blowing how incredibly stupid these people are yet they run our country. For example, the governor of Illinois, whose name I can't even pronounce, was caught red-handed trying to sell Illinois' Senate seat. He knew he was under investigation but made phone calls clearly expressing his intention to use the seat for his benefit.

If that doesn't make you queasy, let's go a little further back and look at the economic plan that the house originally came up with. Just for fun, let's pretend that the plan was brilliant to begin with. Republicans and Democrats worked together to create what they felt was an ideal solution. As soon as it was over the men and women who made these decisions, and cross party lines, were interviewed by every news channel imaginable. Do you know what they were most proud of? They were surprised that they were able to work together, ignoring party lines, to come up with a decision. I don't consider myself a rocket scientist, but isn't that what they're supposed to do every day?

I'm not even going to touch things that President Bush has done in his eight years. It's too easy! But keep in mind that people voted for him, twice. Not only that, but people weren't credibly interested in Sarah Palin. Personally, I've never heard dumber things said out loud in my entire life and I've seen people on drugs. She claimed to have experience in foreign affairs because she could, "see Russia from her house." When asked where she got her news, she couldn't even think of one credible news source. I don't even want to talk about her wink. While she's done other stupid things, there was one final moment that literally scared the crap out of me. She proclaimed she was going to run for president in 2012 because God told her to. If there is a God, and he pays attention to American politics, there is no way he contacted her to say that she is the best option for president.

It's easy to point fingers at politicians, especially because they're always in the limelight. So let's look at other regular citizens that are just as stupid. How about the group of skinheads that it planned to kill Barak Obama. These brilliant few took pictures of themselves with M-16 rifles, and placed them on My Space with details on how they were going to infiltrate and execute their plan. On their sites, they had explained the received intelligence on buildings that he would be in and even joked amongst each other online. Oddly enough, they were caught. Congratulations! You are equally as smart as a politician.

Finally, I feel the need to point a finger at athletes. While some of them are relatively intelligent, it's obvious that there are a bunch of bad eggs. Going back a few years, Ricky Williams tested positive for marijuana. Not so dangerous but I want to compare his folly with recent events. For example, Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg. That already sounds stupid. The whole story is even better. He went to a fancy nightclub wearing sweatpants, with a loaded gun in the waistband. Claimed that he was nervous to be in the area but I think he's just that stupid. So as you probably can imagine, the guns slipped from his waistband and in an attempt to grab it, shot himself in the leg, probably ruining his football career. First of all, if you're worried about going to a certain area, DON'T GO. Second, why are you wearing sweatpants to a fancy club? And lastly, if you are dumb enough to bring a loaded gun and stick it in the waistband of your sweatpants, PUT THE SAFETY ON! Congratulations, you're smarter than a politician.

For the record, I'm not saying that I've never made a dumb decision. However, my dumb decisions affect very few people, which technically makes them okay. So the next time you make a stupid decision, or you see somebody else make a stupid decision, consider whether they, or you, are smarter than a politician. Good luck!

Arise Fundraiser

Welcome! I apologize for not updating the blog consistently, but I have been overwhelmed by preparations for the fundraiser that was held on Saturday.

The concert was... extraordinary. It was simply amazing that we managed to get all of those people to join us to celebrate the progress I've made. Since I wasn't able to attend last year, I had no way of knowing what to expect. I have to say I was blown away by the response of friends, family, and the community.

While I spent a good majority of my time saying hello to everyone, I was able to hear the musical acts that were performing in my honor. The first to play was Lenox Underground, an adult musical group that had a couple members from Summit. I have to say I was a little skeptical at first, but when they got to work and people were dancing, I had no problems grooving myself. Playing a collection of cover music as well as original pieces, they set the stage for the rest of the night.

The second musical act, Orchard, was a Rufolo brother concoction. Playing mostly original pieces, with an occasional Radiohead cover, the band blew everyone away. Some who have heard them before were surprised by the level of creativity and talent. The rest of the audience who had never heard them, watched in awe. They had such an eclectic sound and even played a song that I had written when I was in high school, which just happened to be titled "Arise".

The final act was a friend of mine whom I had met in Manhattan years ago. We had lost touch but one of my close friends (Maria) managed to contact him so he could surprise me with a live performance. John Lardieri played the final few songs at the fundraiser, leaving the crowd speechless. It was truly a gift to hear him and share his music with the rest of the crowd.

This fundraiser was such a humbling experience. Even in this weakened economy, people showed up by the hundreds to share what they could, whether it was time or money. Friends of mine put so much effort into this event and really created a wonderful evening. My mother and I hate having our hands out, but find ourselves in that position often, recently. We try to accept everything we are given with humility and gratitude.

Even though it was a tiring day, we ended up at the bar. My closest friends and family members came to enjoy a night cap. Here, at some crappy bar in Springfield, is where the night really set in. The thought of everything people have done for me, in just one evening, was overwhelming. I looked around the bar, mid-sip, and realized how truly lucky I am.

Unfortunately, I woke up Sunday to watch the Buffalo Bills lose yet another game. It wasn't just another game, but a battle against my brother-in-law's favorite team. To all those who watch football, you know how truly humiliating it is to lose to San Francisco. Here I found myself battling with the energizing feeling from Saturday night's festivities and the pain of losing to one of the worst teams in the NFL. For those reading, if you are true friends you will join me in saying, "SCREW YOU SAN FRANCISCO!"

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, unless you are San Francisco fan. Tune in next time.

Spinal Cord Injury Education

Hey guys. Today's blog is going to discuss basic elements of spinal cord injuries and where some good information can be found. To start off, I have added some links on the left side of the blog that will direct you to two of the websites that I've found to be useful. Also, as you may have noticed, there is a link that will direct you to my website.

For those of you who have spinal cord injuries, the two websites that I have on the left have some really good information. There are forums about how to travel, where to get used equipment, and classifications on what type of injury you have. However, for able-bodied people, it may just be interesting for you to read both of the websites just to get a feel for what I'm talking about.

One of the toughest things about being a recently injured person is that, when you are discharged from the hospital, they give you very little advice. When I got home in March, my mom and I would be spending a lot of time at the hospital because we didn't know how to handle a lot of the situations. My mother is not a nurse and in order to get nursing care you need to have a lot of money. Basically, you're on your own.

Since March, I've learned a lot of tricks and techniques that make my life easier, as well as my family's, by asking other paralyzed people how they deal with certain issues. Recently, my mother received a phone call from a family who has a recently injured child. The parents simply don't know how to cope and don't have the knowledge they need to adequately care for the child. It's almost like a moral imperative to help people that have the same injuries as you. When I'm at Kessler, everybody asks everybody else questions, no matter how inappropriate they might seem.

While it may seem that I'm not giving any specific advice, I want to do more than that. So instead of listing all the things that I think might help, I suggest looking at these websites and sending me any questions or comments. I would be more than happy to answer any questions for able-bodied or paralyzed people. No issue is off-limits and no question is stupid.

I look forward to hearing some of your questions and comments. Also, depending on how many of you actually get involved in this forum, I will use some of the comments and questions as blog suggestions. So don't be shy and please direct anybody who may need advice to my blog or website. Thank you.